Tuesday, 8 April 2008

An Unwed Mother

I just left Heathers blog site where she was talking about adoption and foster care. My mind flashed back to this incident in our lives.

The phone call came one afternoon; "''Would you be willing to take a newborn temporarily for about 90 days until adoption arrangements can be made?" Mama immediately said, without hesitation , "Certainly!"

Now mama and I had agreed that we would be pleased to use our home as a temporary foster placement home. We were prepared and expecting a call just like that one.

Within a couple of days the social worker brought the new baby boy to our house. What a precious child. The bio mom was a 17 year old girl who had dropped out of school. Her mother was NOT going to have a grand child who was born out of wedlock - no way. Major family dispute and the mutual agreement was to put the child up for adoption.

After about two weeks we received another phone call from the social worker. "I have a very special request (pause) the bio mom is having second thoughts about giving up the baby for adoption. Would you object if she came to your house to see the baby?" Mama said; "That would certainly be okay and I would be glad to show her some basic child care steps." By the way, no one takes care of babies as well as mama!

In a couple of days the young lady arrived, by herself, at our home. When she came in we smiled, she trembled and was extremely frightened. I immediately put my arms around her, and held her, hugged her why she sobbed. I told her, looking her in the face; "You are facing one of the toughest decisions of your life! We are not here to judge you and are not in competition with you for your child. We are here to help you decide whats best!" She then hugged me and sobbed some more. Mama then went and got the baby and placed the baby in her trembling arms. It was the first time she held the child. The rest of the afternoon mama helped her take care of the baby. She then had to leave. She came and visited a couple more times.

Within a week or so the social worker called and said that the bio mom wanted to take the child home for the weekend - "grandma's" heart was changing. The weekend went fine and the bio mom eventually took her son home to stay.

One of the little neat things that happened during this process was that every once in awhile we would dress the baby up extra special, go into town and stop at a very special restaurant. The one where the bio mom worked as a waitress. The first time we did this the mom screamed with delight and took the baby and showed him to everyone.

Those of you in foster care or considering adoption, what a serious responsibility you have. Make sure you have Jesus direction in your life, because the child you are responsible for, now or later, their life depends on that.

18 comments:

CDCVersion said...

Wow...I did not know this about you and Mama. In fact, I'm learning lots about you through your blogs that I never heard about before. This is a beautiful story...a heart touching one with a good ending. Also, appreciate your warning at the end of your blog.

Now, I needed to get your attention to ask you to go to my blog, Journey to Israel - Post 16, and read Heather's comment and my reply. There's an idea there for you for a survey. I figure your blog is the best place to run it since you have the biggest audience. Take a peek and see what you think or come up with. If it isn't down your alley, then I understand.

We're warming things up for you here in MI...four days in a row of sunshine and in the 60's. Nice!

Indian Lake Papa said...

CDC - thanks for stopping by! I think I can do your survey idea! Give me a couple of days to think on it!

Tanya said...

Papa, I volunteer at a pregnancy center here in town. I so understand what you are saying. As long a Jesus is in our heart, he will guide us to the right action or words to say. I have had women sit across from me and be shaken in their seats about that little test. Or they could be so excited. During those four minutes while we wait I let God direct the conversation. It is awesome what I have talked to them about. But, not only am I talking to a women, but one with a small life in here. From that moment alot could happen and a decision could be made for a life that could be severe. Love with love, talk with love, actions with love. This is important. Thank you for sharing that. I feel alot more respect for all of you that adopt or foster. God bless you, love Tanya

Lori said...

Papa, I couldn't agree more. I am the friend that first had Heather's daughter (Amber). We truly felt the Lord leading us to fostercare. It wasn't until after Amber went to be with Heather that we felt our "duty" had been accomplished. We had a short lived time in the system (7 kids total). We are planning to do it again in the future, but for the time we did do it, Jesus was steering!

Heather said...

What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I soooo wish all stories ended as happily as that one.

Thank you, papa and mama, for giving to the Lord through these children.

Love and Blessings.....

Indian Lake Papa said...

Tanya - Love is so important. Love with action & kindness goes a long ways.

Lori - always let Jesus guide your life! That's where I usually get in trouble, I want to drive!

Heather - regardless of how the story will end - we must serve!

Robin said...

Beautiful! The love that you and others who adopt and foster children is just lovely and I'm sure it brings a smile to God too.

Indian Lake Papa said...

Thanks Robin - when we did foster care it was not easy. But it was God's plan for our life.

Life Adapted said...

Your blog is amazing and inspirational. I have enjoyed reading them and look forward to reading future ones. Someday I'll share our story of caring for other's little ones. Too raw still. Be blessed.

Indian Lake Papa said...

Life Adapted - mama and I hope that our lives can be a blessing to others and have some fun along the way as well! Thanks for stopping by!

Tam said...

I don't know if I could do what you and Mama did. I mean, I think it is incredible! but I don't think I would have the strength to let a baby go after I cared for it. I guess I'm too selfish and get attached too easily.

But you all did an amazing thing! You always surprise me with your stories Papa!

I am totally speechless by this...

Indian Lake Papa said...

Tam - I hope you read this - It wasn't always easy. Mama broke down one time. We had twins one time from birth (we actually brought them home from the hospital!) until 90 days old. Mama got to place them in the arms of the adoptive parents. Mama was a basket case all the way home.

The bio mom was 15 and several years later was murdered by her drug addicted boy friend. We knew her and I was even her Sunday School teacher a few times. A very sad story.

CrossView said...

I'm so glad that the young mother chose to keep the baby. It's hard on a child to feel "unwanted".

And I'm glad the grandmother had a change of heart. So often, it's the well-meaning relatives who push for abortions and adoptions.

Indian Lake Papa said...

Crossview - we believed it ended well! God is faithful!

Tam said...

Papa, that is terrible! I am so sorry. Do you know how those twins are today?

I was thinking more about my comment and how I said it would be too hard for me to give up something to someone else that I had cared for...Isn't that exactly what God did for us...

Now...I am really speechless

Indian Lake Papa said...

We did get a picture of the twins a year or so later. The new parents were very concerned about "contact" with us. I think they saw us as a threat. In fact, when we placed the babies in their arms they immediately put new clothes on them and gave mama her outfits right back. We were removed from the room quickly. Going home, mama would see those clothes on the seat and cry uncontrollably. We survived just fine, but that mother instinct kicked in quite hard that day! Not a good day that day.

Tam said...

Sacrifice. The hardest thing to do when you're really giving up something you love and care for...

Indian Lake Papa said...

The adoption of the twins was a great thing Tam. The adopting couple were a young couple who were very excited - but also very scared! It could have been handled better, it wasn't so you move on with life. We wanted to simply share in the excitement but that was missed somehow.

Christ sacrificed His life for our salvation. I don't understand that Tam - we sacrifice so little.