Where do I start? Lets start at the beginning, what I remember first. I remember when I was about three weeks old, in my birth mother’s womb, I wondered, what am I? What is my future? Am I a baby?
As time went by I could hear my mother talking about abortion. I found out that here in Western Siberia Russia that 3 out of 4 expecting mothers abort their babies. Is that what I am? A baby? Abortion sounds awful! Will that happen to me? What can I do? Oh my, nothing! My mother seems sad, lonely and not sure what to do. Her future is not bright. Many young mothers die by the time they are 35, my mother is only 15 but still that’s not much of a future to look forward to. She has nothing, not even a husband to care for her. I really don’t have a chance do I. My future does not look good even if she gives birth to me.
Siberia! Oh it is so cold! I am now six months old in the womb. At least I am still alive. It is November here and already we are having many nights below zero! Brrrr! Keep me warm mother! I wonder why my mother didn’t abort me?? Certainly life will be much more difficult for her with raising a baby. What will she do?
That’s a new word! Orphanage! What does that mean? Is it something that will be a part of my life? Oh – it’s a place where children go who have no parents. Well, that doesn’t apply to me then, I at least have a mother. What! She plans to put me in an orphanage after I am born? I will have no mother! What will happen to me? Will I have a name?
Oh my is it ever cold!! The temperature is 30 below and it is the end of January! Something is happening! I’m coming out! Oh my! Where are we? A hospital? I guess this is my welcome to life. Oh it’s cold out here! I wish I could go back. The faces of all these people look funny – blank. They look sad – and lonely. Will I grow up like that? Maybe that’s the way life is. I am not sure I want to be here.
I think it has been a week since I have been born. Who are these strange people? Where are they taking me? Where is my mother? I have not seen her yet. Surely she is coming! Orphanage! There’s that word again. They are taking me to an orphanage! I want my mother!
This is a strange place. Lots of older children here, not very many of us babies here. I hate just laying in this crib thing all day. I wish I could get out and move around. Here they come – they are picking me up. What for? My diaper is dry – I hope they aren’t going to feed me that goopy stuff that they always give me. I sure wish I could have some milk.
Who are those people? They look nice. What was that bright light?? A flash! They took my picture! What for? I think I had better listen to what they are saying. This could be important. The picture! They are sending it to America. Where is that? Is that another town in Siberia? Oh I have so many questions! They are saying that in America there are couples that must mean husbands and wives that are looking for babies to adopt. I wonder if I really have a chance at this adoption thing. This town America probably isn’t much, but I would have a mom and dad. I wonder if they would give me milk. I wonder about many things.
I have been here 8 months now. They took my picture many months ago. I feel sad. But I guess that is the way my life is going to be. Oh, here they come to change my diaper again. I think I will give them a messy one, I am bored. What are they doing? They seem to be fussing over me a little extra today. Even a nice clean gown today! Where are they taking me? Whose office is this? Boy, this building is big. Who are those two people? They sure look nice! They don’t look like they are from around here. What are they doing here in Siberia? Why do I have so many questions? Oh no – they are putting me in the young ladies arms. I hope she knows how to hold me so that I don’t break.
That’s something new around here – the look on their faces. I have never seen the mouth turn up at the corners before. That must be painful! I don’t want to do that. They never do that around here. She sure is holding me close – that feels good. I think I will sneak a look at her face again. Yep, corners still turned up, it must be painful. Yep I am right, I see tears coming down her cheeks. Why does she do that then? But she doesn’t seem sad. I can’t tell how she feels, I have never seen this feeling. Now she is putting me in the arms of the young man. He is holding me close too – oh I like that. Wouldn’t you know it, his mouth is turned up too – and he is in pain – I see he has tears too.
What’s that? They are from the town of America? Oh my, they must be thinking of adopting me. They think I look just like my picture! Will they take me to America? Oh no – they are giving me back to the nurse. Wait, they say they will be back tomorrow to get me!
Where are they? I hope they come today. Yep, they must be here the nurse is fussing all over me. I think this is going to be a good thing. At least they hold me close. I wonder if they will give me a name?
Where are we? Who are all these people? Oh – we are in front of the judge here in Siberia! That must be important! What did he say? He asked them if I was cute! What is cute? The young lady holding me says “yes”! The judge says I now belong to them. I now have a mom and dad. I hope that’s a good thing. I am still curious, I haven’t heard my name yet. My dad says they are going to take me home. I am anxious to see my home. I hope it’s not too cold – I don’t like the cold.
Blake! That must be my name! Mom and Dad keep calling me “Blake”. I now have a name and that must mean I am part of their family – forever!
This thing they call an airplane is so crowded, lots of babies and children on this airplane. We must be all going to America. Something tells me that it is a long way from Siberia!
This has been a long trip, three different planes, I am getting tired of planes! Here we go again! Wait this is different. There are people I see that seem to know my mom and dad. They are putting me in the arms of this lady. Oh, it’s my mom’s mom, my grandma – and he must be my papa!
Wow – what are those things? Big round things on some kind of thread or ribbon – someone said balloons! Look at all the signs – there’s one that says:
“Welcome home Blake”! I like that! Hey, my face is funny, the corners of my mouth are turned up for the first time! I have tears coming down and it doesn’t even hurt! It is a good thing! And – its warmer!
Yep - I think I’m home!
(Written by Papa)
Picture of mama getting ready to hold her first grandchild who just got off the plane all the way from Siberia!
I apologize for the length, but wanted to share!
LATE FLASH! Go to "A Place For You" a song by Wayne Watson that was sung at Blake's church dedication. Very special! The words apply to you and me as well!